“Don’t Think You’ll Be Seeing Versace Make a Purse Out Of This….”

By Brandon James


It may sound bad, but throughout my life I’ve always found that the strangest things I’ve ever come across have come consistently from Asia.  I don’t know how many Sunday mornings or late night TV I’ve stared at in a zombie-like state that is some insane show from Japan or China whose game show premise is completely lost on me.  They’re usually filled with stunts or just crazy gross stuff, and I can’t ever figure out how any of the contestants actually win the show, let alone get the reason why any of these poor people subject themselves to the seeming torture!  I couldn’t help but feel the same disbelief when I came across a story on cnn.com where a Giant Panda Retreat and Rescue in China is going to be marketing a variety of products made essentially from sterilized Panda dung.  Are you kidding me?!

The whole story began with The Chengdu Giant Panda Breeding Base spending almost $800 per month to have the dung from their 40 bamboo-fed Giant Pandas removed.  As you can imagine that gets expensive quite quickly.  So they got creative.

The products will be made by a local company using a sterilization process that begins with carefully selecting the dung, smashing it, drying and bringing the temperature up to over 500F. Then the "Panda Poo" is put into moulds and mixed with various dyes to add color.

Now get this…  If that wasn’t enough to make your head spin, they're actually saying that the products that contains panda hair are going to be the most expensive!  Are you kidding?  I’m supposed to ante up more of my hard earned cash for what amounts quite literally to “crap,” then pay more for “crap” with hair in it?  Don’t make me laugh!  It gives a whole other meaning to “got you by the hairs.”

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