I just love having fun
with the difference between dogs and cats and the people who
love them… here’s a favorite of mine!
Wrapping Presents with Dogs
1. Gather presents,
boxes, paper, etc. in middle of living room floor.
2. Get tape back from puppy.
3. Remove scissors from older dog's mouth.
4. Open box.
5. Take puppy out of box.
6. Remove tape from older dog's mouth.
7. Take scissors away from puppy.
8. Put present in box.
9. Remove present from puppy's mouth.
10. Put back in box after removing puppy
from box.
11. Take scissors from older dog and sit
on them.
12. Remove puppy from box and put on lid.
13. Take tape away from older dog.
14. Unroll paper.
15. Take puppy OFF box.
16. Cut paper being careful not to cut
puppy's foot or nose that is getting in the way as he
"helps."
17. Let puppy tear remaining paper.
18. Take puppy off box.
19. Wrap paper around box.
20. Remove puppy from box & take wrapping
paper from its mouth.
21. Tell older dog to fetch the tape so he
will stop stealing it.
22. Take scissors away from puppy.
23. Take tape older dog is holding.
24. Quickly tape one spot before taking
scissors from older dog & sitting on them again.
25. Fend off puppy trying to steal tape &
tape another spot.
26. Take bow from older dog.
27. Go get roll of wrapping paper puppy
ran off with.
28. Take scissors from older dog who took
them when you got up.
29. Give pen to older dog to hold so he
stops licking your face.
30. Remove puppy from present & hurriedly
slap tape on to hold the paper on.
31. Take now soggy bow from puppy & tape
on since the sticky stuff no longer sticks.
32. Take pen from older dog, address tag &
affix while puppy tries to eat pen.
33. Grab present before puppy opens it &
put it away.
34. Clean up mess puppy & older dog made
playing tug-of-war with remnants of wrapping paper.
35. Put away rest of wrapping supplies &
tell dogs what good helpers they are.
Wrapping Presents with a
Cat
-
Clear large space on table
for wrapping present.
-
Go to closet and collect
bag in which present is contained, and shut door.
-
Open door and remove cat
from closet.
-
Go to cupboard and retrieve
rolls of wrapping paper.
-
Go back and remove cat from
cupboard.
-
Go to drawer, and collect
transparent sticky tape, ribbons, scissors, labels, etc.
. .
-
Lay out presents and
wrapping materials on table, to enable wrapping strategy
to be formed.
-
Go back to drawer to get
string, remove cat that has been in the drawer since
last visit and collect string.
-
Remove present from bag.
-
Remove cat from bag.
-
Open box to check present,
remove cat from box, replace present.
-
Lay out paper to enable
cutting to size.
-
Try and smooth out paper,
realize cat is underneath and remove cat.
-
Cut the paper to size,
keeping the cutting line straight.
-
Throw away first sheet as
cat chased the scissors, and tore the paper.
-
Cut second sheet of paper
to size - by putting cat in the bag the present came in.
-
Place present on paper.
-
Lift up edges of paper to
seal in present. Wonder why edges don't reach. Realize
cat is between present and paper. Remove cat.
-
Place object on paper, to
hold in place while tearing transparent sticky tape.
-
Spend 20 minutes carefully
trying to remove transparent sticky tape from cat with
pair of nail scissors.
-
Seal paper with sticky
tape, making corners as neat as possible.
-
Look for roll of ribbon.
Chase cat down hall in order to retrieve ribbon.
-
Try to wrap present with
ribbon in a two-directional turn.
-
Re-roll ribbon and remove
paper, which is now torn due to cat's enthusiastic
ribbon chase.
-
Repeat steps 13-20 until
you reach last sheet of paper.
-
Decide to skip steps 13-17
in order to save time and reduce risk of losing last
sheet of paper. Retrieve old cardboard box that is the
right size for sheet of paper.
-
Put present in box, and tie
down with string.
-
Remove string, open box and
remove cat.
-
Put all packing materials
in bag with present and head for locked room.
-
Once inside lockable room,
lock door and start to relay out paper and materials.
-
Remove cat from box, unlock
door, put cat outside door, close and relock.
-
Repeat previous step as
often as is necessary (until you can hear cat from
outside door)
-
Lay out last sheet of
paper. (This will be difficult in the small area of the
toilet, but do your best)
-
Discover cat has already
torn paper. Unlock door go out and hunt through various
cupboards, looking for sheet of last year's paper.
Remember that you haven't got any left because cat
helped with this last year as well.
-
Return to lockable room,
lock door, and sit on toilet and try to make torn sheet
of paper look presentable.
-
Seal box, wrap with paper
and repair by very carefully sealing with sticky tape.
Tie up with ribbon and decorate with bows to hide worst
areas.
-
Label. Sit back and admire
your handiwork, congratulate yourself on completing a
difficult job.
-
Unlock door, and go to
kitchen to make drink and feed cat.
-
Spend 15 minutes looking
for cat until coming to obvious conclusion.
-
Unwrap present, untie box
and remove cat.
- Go to
store and buy a gift bag
Hahahahahhaha….. !!!!
Merry Christmas!
